Actions speak louder than words
by Fair Cate
Summary: Minor SV S2 Sydney tries to find what she can do right


_Disclaimer – I don't own any of the Alias characters, they belong to JJ Abrams etc.  
  
**This is set pre-End Game (219)  
**  
A/N - Okay, this is something I have had lying around for a while. I have a similar Dark Angel version, but I prefer the way this one runs.  
  
Remember to review!!  
_

* * *

**Actions speak louder than words**

Sometimes when the world seems empty and you feel like you can't go on, all you need to do is remind yourself of the things you can do right. You can almost convince yourself that if you can do this one thing right, you can do anything.  
  
Vaughn, for example. I once read a school assignment of his which he keeps in his office, He wrote it when he was eight and it is titled "What I want to be when I grow up". It didn't mention a job full of deception and mistrust. It didn't mention a spy girlfriend whose father hates you and whose mother killed your father. It doesn't mention exhaustion from a day staring at a computer or cramps from sitting down too long. No, Vaughn wanted to play in the NHL. He is an amazing skater and hockey player. So in his free time, he heads down to the rink to practice. He could be down there for hours, lost in his own thoughts. He allows the familiarity of skating take him away to a place where there are no agents, danger or lies. It is like he is a child again and his father is watching him while he practices at the ice rink near his childhood home. Everything hard and difficult is gone and Vaughn simply acts on what comes naturally.  
  
I think that is why Marshall dives into his inventions so much. He is a genius and I think sometimes that Marshall doesn't even realize how brilliant he actually is. Every time I visit his small office space, he is working on some gadget or gizmo. There is never talk of a girlfriend or of a life beyond the office and I think that Marshall is lonely beyond SD-6. But he knows technology and he is brilliant at it. It is almost like second nature. So when he feels lost in the world, Marshall returns to his desk and astounds us all by what he is able to produce.  
  
I know that more that anything, Weiss wishes that he could be a proper field agent. Sure, he would never tell you to your face, but he joined up with the CIA for a life full of excitement. And he ended up with a desk job. True, he has clocked some field time. But his life is not how he pictured it. But he can make us all smile. A long day at the JTF can defiantly put a dampener on any happy mood, but I don't know what I would have done if Weiss wasn't there to share a joke with me, or simple wink at me with a big goofy grin on his face. Sure life isn't all you imagined it to be, but Weiss know that if he can just make me smile, he has done his job for the day.  
  
Dixon has always put his family first. His children and wife are always the first things on his mind. He has separated his two worlds so clearly and he almost becomes a different person from the moment he steps into his house and call out "is anybody home?" Ever since I first met Dixon, he has wished he could share his job with his wife, that the line between the two worlds didn't have to be so clear cut. But he knows better. And he knows that even thought the two worlds are so separate, he is a hero in both. Dixon's children are his pride and joy and he tries with all his heart and soul to be the perfect father and husband. And he is. Because he knows that if he can simply do that well, he can accomplish anything.  
  
Even when she was a child, all Francie wanted to do was cook. Her mother loves to tell stories of a much younger Francie surprising her in the mornings with breakfast in bed, and of Francie's many kitchen disasters. But it has always been her passion. The ability to turn something simple into something which will make people happy is something she was gifted with and everything she does in her life, she does for this passion for food. She finds the smell of cooking soothing to her soul. Sure, running your own restaurant isn't as easy as it seemed, but she knew that the food was good and if the food was good, then the restaurant would be a success.  
  
Sometimes I sit in amazement as Will writes. He will sit at a table and fill out page after page of paper, full of creativity and literary flair. And there never seems to be an end it. There is simply a pause as he comes back into reality for a while before he returns to writing later and the words continue to flow. He says that first he just writes what ever is on his mind, that this is where all of his quirky lines and ideas come from for his articles. And later, he goes back and cuts away all the crap, adds in some facts and he is able to produce an article. Maybe the article will get published, maybe it won't. But he still has written something which he is proud of and he knows that he will make it some day.  
  
My dad is a good agent. Okay, I take that back. My dad is a fantastic agent. He does his job well and he knows it. He has contacts all over the world who he knows he can call on and they will be there to help him at a moments notice. His life is his job. I am one of the few who can actually remember a time when his life was more than his job, when his life was at home with his wife and child. He his wife betrayed him and left him a broken man and in his job, he found he could control something in this world. His job is dangerous and risky, but Jack Bristow is able to compete with the best and always wins. He feels like a failure by not noticing my mother's double agent status earlier, but he knows that he is a fantastic agent and takes comfort in that.  
  
So what do I do right? I'm good at my job, but it isn't my life. I have friends, but they have their lives and I have mine. I can't write timeless classics or cook tasty masterpieces. I roll over onto my side, my movement interrupting the silence of the night. I look over and I find Vaughn awake, his mouth quirked in a slight smile.  
  
"Can't sleep?"  
  
"No"  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Too many thoughts"  
  
"Mmm? Like what?"  
  
So I tell him. And he smiles.  
  
"You make me happy" he states simply and we share a smile as I place my hands on his face and lower my lips to his.  
  
Maybe I won't change the world, but I know what I can do right.

* * *

_Please review!!  
  
Cate_


End file.
